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koyuca
17-10-05, 05:08 PM
una de las mejores maneras de probarlo son los darwin awards -- otorgados a quienes en un rapto de justicia darwiniana, retiran sus genes de la alberca genética humana

pruebas?


19 March 2005, Michigan) "Unusual" and "complicated" is how the Missaukee County sheriff described the mysterious death of 19-year-old Christopher, who called 911 at 1:22am and calmly informed the police dispatcher that his neighbor had stabbed him. Suddenly he began screaming and begging for help. A woman was heard shouting in the background, "Why did you do this?" Deputies arrived quickly, only to find that Christopher had bled to death from stab wounds to his chest.

After an evening spent imbibing large quantities of alcohol, Christopher noticed a shortage in his liquor supply that could not be attributed to his own depredations. He concluded that his neighbor had stolen a bottle of booze! He menaced said neighbor with a knife, to no avail, whereupon he retired to his own apartment to brood about revenge.

Finally he figured out the perfect way to get back at that conniving bottle-thief: he would stab himself and blame the neighbor!

A witness saw Christopher enter the bathroom while he called police. When he emerged from the bathroom, he looked perfectly fine, but a moment later he began screaming as gouts of blood spewed from his chest. He ran to the door of the apartment, and collapsed.

The evidence pointed to self-inflicted wounds. Deputies found the knife that killed him in the kitchen, and an autopsy concluded that he had stabbed himself in the chest twice. The first wound may not have looked dangerous enough to him, so he took the knife and tried again, this time plunging it into his left ventricle. This wound was plenty dangerous: he had only two minutes to live.

Christopher died in vain. His deathbed accusation fell on deaf ears, as a witness stated that the neighbor was not in the apartment, and the neighbor offered to take a lie-detector test to demonstrate his innocence. All Christopher got for revenge was an accidental death sentence.


(7 March 2005, Hanoi, Vietnam) Nguyen, 21, had been drinking with friends in the Tu Liem district of Hanoi, when he pulled out an old detonator he had found. The detonator was about six centimeters long and 8 centimeters in diameter, with two wires hanging out of the end. Because it was old and rusty, he said, it couldn't explode. His friends disagreed.

To prove his point, Nguyen put the detonator in his mouth and asked his friend to plug the dangling wires into a 220-volt electrical receptacle. Nyugen was wrong!

The victim had little time to reflect on how he could have been so mistaken, or whether 220 volts alone could have been fatal. According to police, "the explosion blew out his cheek and smashed all his teeth." Nguyen died on the way to the hospital.


(3 January 2005, St. Maurice, Switzerland) It was the first week of a weapons refresher course, and Swiss Army Grenadier Detachment 20/5 had just finished training with live ammunition. The shooting instructor ordered the soldiers to secure their weapons for a break.

The 24-year-old second lieutenant, in charge of this detachment, decided this would be a good time to demonstrate a knife attack on a soldier. Wielding his bayonet, he leaped toward one of his men, achieving complete surprise.

But earlier that week, the soldiers had been drilled to release the safety catch and ready their guns for firing in the shortest possible time. The surprised soldier, seeing his lieutenant leaping toward him with a knife, snapped off a shot to protect himself from the attack.

The lesson could not have been more successful: the soldier had saved himself and protected the rest of the detachment from a surprise attack. The lieutenant might have wished to commend his soldier on his quick action and accurate marksmanship. Unfortunately, he had been killed with one shot.

enlace: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/index_darwin2005.html

:D
:D :D

koyuca
17-10-05, 05:21 PM
éste relato es simplemente hilarante:


Accident Report

This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."

"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the
ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."

"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

enlace: http://darwinawards.com/legends/

:D
:D :D

Lady_Cyber
17-10-05, 05:23 PM
Moraleja: No te emborraches, se te pueden ocurrir ideas realmente estúpidas (aunque algunos las tendrán incluso estando sobrios, como el teniente). :rolleyess

koyuca
17-10-05, 05:32 PM
éste no tiene desperdicio


(1998) In rural Carbon County, Pennsylvania, a group of men were drinking beer and discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home owned by Irving Michaels, age 27. The men were firing at a raccoon that was wandering by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim. Despite an estimated 35 shots fired by the group, the animal escaped into a 3' diameter drainage pipe 100 feet away from Mr. Michaels' deck.

Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can of gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels emptied the entire five-gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried to light it again, to no avail.

Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Mr. Michaels proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the sloping pipe to toss the match. The subsequent rapidly-expanding fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he had come, though at a much higher rate of speed. He exited the angled pipe "like a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," according to witness Joseph McFadden, 31.

Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own home, right over the heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air. "There was a Doppler Effect to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden reported, "followed by a loud thud." Amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries.

"It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "Like when they shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if I was sure I wouldn't get hurt."

enlace: http://darwinawards.com/legends/

Lady_Cyber
17-10-05, 05:45 PM
:6sw2: :6sw2: :007:

No sé que me asombra más: lo idiota de la idea, el espectáculo resultante, o lo barato que le salió el asunto en cuanto a heridas...:rolleyess

Spiderman
17-10-05, 08:57 PM
No tiene madre!! En particular la del wey del barril de herramientas. No sería galllego? :D

Lady_Cyber
17-10-05, 10:41 PM
Mmm...Esa del barril ya la había leído antes, es una de esas leyendas urbanas.

Pero ya los Mythbusters demostraron en su programa que es sumamente difícil que algo así suceda (tuvieron que quitarle refuerzos al barril y hacer varios intentos). Además mencionaron que ese relato apareció por primera vez en un libro de bromas de mil novecientos veintitantos...

Lagos
18-10-05, 03:36 PM
Pues el manager, donde trabaja mi yerno, se le ocrurrió la brillante idea de regalar un cupón de 20 dolares de gasolina, a los que visitaran la agencia, aunque no compraran...(ya saben...)
Mi yerno, recibió una llamada de San Diego, de una seño, preguntando si era cierto...y al confirmarsele que si, prometió que el sábado estaría por allí...
De momento él no lo creyó y se los comentó a los demás vendedores, que se rieron, pensando que cómo era posible, que nada mas por 20 dólares de gasolina, fueran a ir de San Diego a Los Angeles...
En la noche ,que me contó, le dije asi, como sin querer, oye y que tal que tengan un viaje para los Angeles y pues aprovechan y así les sale gratis el viaje?...y se quedó pensando...
~~~~~~~~~~~>
Pues fué un fín de semana, con muchísimos visitantes, que llegaron por sus vales de 20 dólares de gasolina(con lo caro que esta ahorita...) y naturalmente casi nada de ventas...

El manager estaba que se lo llevaba la #$56&&*...por su "brillante idea"
adivinen de donde es?




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

Por supuesto, que llegó la señora de San Diego...
y nada que compró, pues ni licencia de manejar tenía...jajjajajja!



adivinaron?...





sip, de allá merito: Majo!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Spiderman
18-10-05, 04:00 PM
Algo así les pasó a unas brutas de una estética cerca de mi changarro. Se les ocurrió la brillante idea de vender cupones para que las madames fueran a hacerse lo que quisieran por la módica cifra de $3,000.00.

Pues sí, le atinaron: las fodongas viejas se la vivieron en la estética TODO el mes... :D:D:D

Le Rouge
18-10-05, 04:02 PM
Les faltó el extreme contrario, o sea, ponerle en letras microscópicas "Se aplcian restriccciones" jaja

Lagos
18-10-05, 04:02 PM
Y como quedaron?...

Spiderman
18-10-05, 04:16 PM
Cerraron... :D

sistemma
18-10-05, 05:00 PM
Yo lei en una revista hace años (Perdon, no recuerdo la fuente exacta, creo que fue un "Men's Health" gringo ) acerca de los tres accidentes mas estupidos del año.

1) Un tipo que estaba haciendo abdominales en su casa. Como andaba por ahi su bebe gateando, penso que seria buena idea ponerselo encima del estomago para que hiciera algo mas dificil el ejercicio (O mas bien para hacerse el chistosito con el, yo creo). Con lo que no contaba es que el mendigo escuincle le gusto tanto que empezo a BRINCAR con todas sus fuerzas y le rompio dos costillas al incauto. Veridico.

2) Un terrorista despistado. El imbecil envio un paquete bomba a otro sujeto, pero escribio mal la direccion, asi que se lo regresaron a su casa (puso remitente el...) y el idiota que abre el paquete. Veridico.

3) Este es mas para dar pena. Un paracaidista que a medio salto se dio cuenta de que no abria su paracaidas. Tuvo suerte de que cayo en la piscina de un centro deportivo. Lo malo es que no sabia NADAR y se ahogo. Veridico.

Lagos
19-10-05, 01:33 PM
Cerraron... :D

que como quedaron las clientas...

Spiderman
19-10-05, 04:48 PM
Pues felices, las muy fodongas.

koyuca
19-10-05, 07:36 PM
Mmm...Esa del barril ya la había leído antes, es una de esas leyendas urbanas.


y así la denominan en the darwin awards, como una urban legend, al igual que la siguiente:

In France, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide. He stood atop a sheer cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol.

The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Now freed from the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he died of hypothermia.

sin embargo, el que sean o no leyendas urbanas, no les quita un ápice de ingeniosas y divertidas

:D
:D :D

Le Rouge
20-10-05, 12:18 AM
Esa última me recordó a "Espérame en Siberia vida mía"... jaja